Monday, December 2, 2013

emmy's often mornings

i would venture to say that the majority of us have trouble getting up in the morning. especially on a Monday, after a 4 day weekend. right?

but for Emma, it's a whole other story some mornings. like this morning. it's something that has happened probably since preschool age. some mornings when I go to get Emma up, it is like her brain just isn't "ON" yet. and it is quite visibly not "ON." her stare is vacant. her back is arched. her stemming hands and arms are moving so quickly. she can't control them. doesn't even know what they are doing. she twitches. her breathing is sucky gulps. I have to coax and soothe. Ease her up. guide her shaking arms into sleeves. lift her stiff, arched body. she doesn't talk on these mornings. the words aren't there yet. there are times when I will have to put her on the toilet. not this morning. but this morning was a morning where I had to show her the egg on her plate, hold my hand over hers on the fork. ...

... and then, BAM! the switch is flipped. it is almost like I can HEAR the gears come to life in her head. she speaks. she moves. the arching subsides. she becomes animated Emma, the one we all know.

those are our many mornings. just how it goes.

it is AMAZING to me: this process. how her brain turns "ON." I've thought of videoing her on these mornings, but I can't do it. this is just her. it is just us. just how it goes.

we go with the flow here. everything is one thing at a time. we have time. time is all we have. time is our blessing.

these mornings make me think of how fortunate we really are. some kids like Emma don't have that BAM! moment. not like that. their days are like that all day, every day. that isn't to say that Emma's days are just a piece of cake --because they are not always.

I appreciate my life. my children's lives. I cry a lot. the beauty in all things ordinary is what gets me. tugs at me. and my heart fills with love.