Wednesday, August 2, 2017

It's me who makes the monsters

Always a work in progress, I am.

As Emma goes into her teen years (and after a year and a half of regression due to seizure medication- then getting back to good), I am constantly relearning her autism. With hormones thrown into the mix, her days are often a mess of emotions and meltdowns.

Its easy to become frustrated with her. I beat myself up. I tell myself I can do better. I will be better. For her.

She's come a long way. So have I. I am not the same person I was some thirteen years ago, or even five. We are constantly evolving and growing. Some days we are stagnate. Other days she goes back a few steps, and I stumble and am hard on myself and depression sets in because I feel like I've let her down.

Every day I am learning. I strive to be better for both of my children.
I do know that our home is happy. I am happy. The happiest I've been in years. My children are happy and are both healthy.
I am grateful.