Tuesday, September 29, 2015

poems in the rain

"rainy afternoon leaving the doctor's office"

under an umbrella
they walked
mother stops. says
"wait. ive got a poem in my head dear girl. let me think it."
daughter asks
"does it go like this?
'we are hungry. where is food?'"
mother laughs

walking through her meltdown #autism #sensory overload #spoons

Walking through a meltdown (one kind):
If I had my phone I'd make a meme! But imagine you're in a body whose brain is wired a bit differently. Imagine you've been studying, and practicing, and being told for a week how quiet you need to be on a trip. It's somewhere you really really want to go. You've just discovered it's definitely a new interest. You are so so so excited! You cry a little the morning of because you are confused about the itinerary. You thought a judge would serve you lunch and you would stay all day! Mom shows you the permission slip that states that lunch is at school. You are sad but seem to recover. You get there, and everything goes great! You've really held it together SINCE 6AM! AND you haven't been feeling so great but don't tell your mom, or you tell someone at school but mom doesn't know right away. So, after lunchtime, you are DONE. you've been so well behaved. And this took every little bit of energy you have. You saved up your "spoons," you've been collecting them for days! Oh no. They're all gone! You're going to do the only thing you know how to do: you're going to shout! You're going to laugh like nothing they've ever heard before! You're going to flail! And hit! Someone rescues you with that tight compression hug you need. You wish you could say Thank You. It feels so good. And Thank You for getting me to the therapy swing. You don't even remember walking here. You have calmed. Your senses have restored. But, oh, you are so tired. Can they even imagine how tired? You come home. Mom tries to make you laugh. You do five math problems for her. Is that enough? You just put your head down. Oh, thank God, she is closing the curtains and covering me up! You don't care that it is only 3:30 in the afternoon. You sleep all night, into the morning when mom comes in at 6. You try to get ready for school, but you're just feeling off. You tell her you feel not so good. Oh! She gets it. Good. #autism