Wednesday, September 30, 2015

but it's only wednesday

sexy smile
twinkling eyes
he takes care of the car
and puts my mind at ease
it's been a long day
his hands on the small of my back,
right where they belong
my cheek resting on his chest,
work shirt smells of work and him.
the evening air is cool now
a sunset washes over in faded pastels
kitty is a - prowlin' around the mums
and the pumpkins are sitting pretty, so fresh not yet yesterday's news
my only wish is that every tomorrow
for just a little while was a sleepy Sunday and tonight there was a fire to dream around.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

poems in the rain

"rainy afternoon leaving the doctor's office"

under an umbrella
they walked
daughter
mother
mother stops. says
"wait. ive got a poem in my head dear girl. let me think it."
daughter asks
"does it go like this?
'we are hungry. where is food?'"
mother laughs

walking through her meltdown #autism #sensory overload #spoons

Walking through a meltdown (one kind):
If I had my phone I'd make a meme! But imagine you're in a body whose brain is wired a bit differently. Imagine you've been studying, and practicing, and being told for a week how quiet you need to be on a trip. It's somewhere you really really want to go. You've just discovered it's definitely a new interest. You are so so so excited! You cry a little the morning of because you are confused about the itinerary. You thought a judge would serve you lunch and you would stay all day! Mom shows you the permission slip that states that lunch is at school. You are sad but seem to recover. You get there, and everything goes great! You've really held it together SINCE 6AM! AND you haven't been feeling so great but don't tell your mom, or you tell someone at school but mom doesn't know right away. So, after lunchtime, you are DONE. you've been so well behaved. And this took every little bit of energy you have. You saved up your "spoons," you've been collecting them for days! Oh no. They're all gone! You're going to do the only thing you know how to do: you're going to shout! You're going to laugh like nothing they've ever heard before! You're going to flail! And hit! Someone rescues you with that tight compression hug you need. You wish you could say Thank You. It feels so good. And Thank You for getting me to the therapy swing. You don't even remember walking here. You have calmed. Your senses have restored. But, oh, you are so tired. Can they even imagine how tired? You come home. Mom tries to make you laugh. You do five math problems for her. Is that enough? You just put your head down. Oh, thank God, she is closing the curtains and covering me up! You don't care that it is only 3:30 in the afternoon. You sleep all night, into the morning when mom comes in at 6. You try to get ready for school, but you're just feeling off. You tell her you feel not so good. Oh! She gets it. Good. #autism