Saturday, November 28, 2015

people do

I made a BIG decision. It took a lot of thinking. A whole shit ton of inner dialogue to work through before I could come out on the other side. It felt like a weight had been lifted.
Then the family members who don't agree with my decision started in with the phone calls and the hateful comments on social media. There is one relative in particular who is a bully . This isn't a big surprise. I knew it would happen. I didn't prepare myself for how it would feel.
Doubt has crept up now. Did I make the right choice? I know it isn't what some of them want. I understand why. I feel though that I made the right choice for myself and the kids.
When she said, in so many words, that I don't miss my mamaw, and I never loved her, my heart broke. Mamaw was my best friend.
Mamaw is gone now.
I have a right to miss her so much it actually hurts.
I didn't do what you would have done.
But I can still feel Mamaw all around me, and she isn't reigning fire down on me.

Thursday, November 12, 2015