life.

so yesterday was the day i returned to the dermatologist for my in-office surgery. ...i received the biopsy results a week and a half ago. on a scale of 0-10 with zero being no cancer to 10 being OHMYGODMELANOMATHISISBAD, my biopsied mole was a 2.5, meaning that it was atypical and consisted of more cells than it should: PRECANCEROUS. so i had more cut out. to be sure. to be safe. the procedure was unfortable, i'll tell you that. and i'm a bleeder, so this caused a minor issue. the smell of my burning flesh was nauseating. but i am NOT complaining; i am ecstatic that it is all gone! they stitched me up, charged me a lot, and i was on my way. and it hurts. but i'm tough and dealing with it! because i don't have cancer!!!! it is amazing how we keep going --- i have a stitched up back, a swollen foot from a bad fall...but i keep on keeping on because life awaits, children scream, trash smells...and so on.

have i mentioned in my blog how much I LOVE LIFE? well, i do. tremendously. i am that person who is genuinely optimistic nearly all the time. i say strange, weird, weird things, and i laugh A LOT. i sing shorty choppy sentences and long goofy ones. i will sing to you things normally mundane and definitely things innappropriate. i dance while running, vaccuuming, driving the car.

oh, don't get me wrong. i am also that person who has anxiety attacks out of nowhere. i didn't see it coming ---i've thought that a few times. i am that person who can tumble down into darkness and has to fight her back into the light. i can admit to you that depression is a terrible terrible thing. but i don't let it get me. not for long. i've got shit to do. that about sums it up, don't you think?

i am grateful to my dad for taking me this last time to my appointment and then out to eat. it was time with him i cherish. you never know how much time there is, do you?

i am grateful to my love for taking care of me the first time around and this time too. bandages and ointments and sweet kisses. thank you.

i am grateful to my babies, ever so inquisitive... i don't give them all the details... but they know that what's behind the bandage hurts, so they are more gentle than usual.

i am loved.